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“Try saying ‘I wonder if …’”
Part of an occasional series about phrases that this therapist finds himself repeating, often.
As a clinician in private practice, one of the phrases that I hear myself repeating often is “Try saying this to them: ‘I wonder if…’.” This suggestion often emerges in a discussion with a parent about guiding and not directing their child, ensuring that your child has the option to make choices for themselves versus you making the choice for them. This phrase is about creating an environment where your child can think for themselves instead of waiting for you to tell them the “right” thing to do.
This could be useful when you find yourself “stuck” in parenting … or potentially in other relationships too.
Remember, children are trying to grow up.
The choices that our children make are an effort to assert their independence, to grow and develop. As the adults that care for them, we would do well to remember that exercising choice takes practice.
