“To take care of them, you need to make sure that you are taking care of yourself.”

Part of an occasional series about phrases that this therapist finds himself repeating, often.

Photo by Anugrah Lohiya from Pexels

So I had the rare occasion recently to fly in an airplane. Air travel has been a rarity for me . . . well, since B.C. That means Before Children. When my wife and I were in our 20’s, there was more exploring and playing to be done.

Let it be said clearly that I do not regret our two wonderful children, but there are constraints and priorities that come with childrearing. The idea of planning a trip that requires a plane ride, to travel that far for pleasure, just does not seem possible. It is the way that many of us as parents begin to orient our lives toward taking care of our children first. Children are more vulnerable. They need to be prioritized.

Which is why there is the story about the oxygen mask.

I first heard this story in Anne Lamott’s book about raising her son as a single parent. In it she writes eloquently about learning that her own self-care was important so that she could take care of her young son. She relates this to the typical speech by the flight attendant at the beginning of any flight.