The Horror of Medical Billing
a tongue in cheek tribute to ICD10 and CPT codes for Halloween
So every single day that I see patients, I send a HIPAA-HITECH compliant email to my medical biller to report who I saw, what billing code to use, if I saw anyone new that day, and what diagnosis did I give them. This usually looks something like this:
Doe, John, 90791, dx: F41.1
I am a clinical social worker, working in an outpatient clinic. In the state where I work, I can diagnose and treat in the area of mental/behavioral health. Nothing scary so far, right? Right.
The first set of numbers following John Doe’s name is the procedure code. For me, that is typically 90791 for a first visit and evaluation. “Dx” means diagnosis. For subsequent visits, I typically use codes like 90834 for an individual therapy session or 90847 for a family session.
Okay, this is getting a little scarier . . . .
So I decided to have a little fun with the wonderful soul who actually bills the insurance companies for my work. Here’s what I have come up with so far:
Dracula, procedure 36430
Frankenstein, procedure 90870
Werewolf, procedure 17380
Swamp Thing, dx: 007.1
King, Stephen, dx: F14.10
Krueger, Freddy, procedure 11730
Myers, Michael, procedure 96372, haldol
Vorhees, Jason, dx: T75.1XXA
Horseman, Headless, dx: X99.9
Bates, Norman, 90845
For those not schooled in looking up CPT and ICD10 codes:
Dracula is getting a blood transfusion.
Frankenstein is receiving a dose of electroconvulsive therapy.
Werewolf is having electrolysis to remove all that unsightly/unwanted hair.
Swamp Thing has a diagnosis of Giardia, a nasty intestinal parasite that one might get from stagnant water.
Stephen King came in for treatment for his cocaine abuse, which explains that movie from the 80’s Maximum Overdrive. That was a horror.
Freddy Krueger of Nightmare on Elm Street fame, came in for nail removal.
Michael Myers (Halloween) is receiving a needed long-acting injection of Haldol.
Jason Vorhees (Friday the 13th) has been diagnosed with drowning (see the early movies).
The Headless Horseman has a diagnosis of being, uh, headless.
And lastly, a bit more in my wheelhouse, Norman Bates came in for psychoanalysis regarding his mother.
So, if you healthcare-oriented, CPT code hating/loving, ICD10-addicts have any other ideas (I’m toying with Leatherface seeing a dermatologist), please let me know!
Oh, and Happy Halloween! There’s a code for pumpkin poisoning right?!?
