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Pentecost
On loneliness, talking, listening, and loving.
I keep coming back to loneliness.
I admit that there is loneliness at times in my life, but there is most certainly loneliness in the lives of a lot of people with whom I work. As a therapist, I sit with many people who have experienced trauma. And that trauma can loom large in their life. Some traumas happen over the course of years; some are short-lived but of such an intensity that the very trajectory of a life was altered, set on a new course.
The common thread is that the event, this trauma, leaves you feeling all alone in the world. It feels as if it is only you now. It appears as if no one will ever understand. You now speak a different language, a language born out of trauma and grief, a language that no one else understands.
It is only you now.
Because I am that special sort of geek, in the midst of thinking about how loneliness feels, I also look to research that I have encountered on the subject of loneliness.
One of the founders of the field of social neuroscience, John Cacioppo, died a few months ago. Dr. Cacioppo did me the kindness of exchanging a few emails several years ago when I was flirting with returning to school for a PhD. There was a succinct interview with him in the Atlantic where he summarized…
