Member-only story
“Parental vision seems to get stuck at about 10 years old.”
Part of an occasional series about phrases that this therapist finds himself repeating, often.
As a clinician in private practice, one of the phrases that I frequently hear myself saying to adolescents and parents is “Parental vision seems to get stuck somewhere at about … 10 years old”.
This phrase is intended for two audiences. One is the adults who don’t seem to be able to recognize that their child is nearing adulthood. The other group is those adolescents who cannot seem to understand why their parents would still treat them like children.
Adolescents first.
It is frustrating when your parents do not seem to have confidence in you. And you may be absolutely right when you tell them, “YOU don’t trust me!” While you may feel confident in your choices about when and how to do your homework, about outside activities, how late you can stay out at night, or about your choices in a relationship, your parents do not see it yet.
When they look at you, they still see a 10-year-old.
And since they see a 10-year-old you, they would not dream that you could handle driving or dating. When they see this younger you…
