“Our hurts return at different ages and stages.”

Part of an occasional series about phrases that this therapist finds himself repeating, often.

We feel like we have circled all the way around to the exact same spot again.

We feel like we are in the same place, yet it is different, all at the same time.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Children go through developmental stages, with discrete tasks to work through.

The original absence of the parent was a trauma, but the absence continues as the child moves into a new stage of their lives.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Young adults hit milestones in their lives that remind them of the original trauma.

Who am I now? How do I tell my story?

So even though they may have worked through an aspect of the trauma at the age it occurred, we should be aware that it may come around again … in a different way perhaps … in a different guise.

Photo by Jossuha Théophile on Unsplash

But … we didn’t circle around to the exact same place; it is more like a spiral.

Being realistic about the nature of trauma means moving into a recurrence of symptoms with curiosity, seeing this as an opportunity for growth.

audio from Anchor.fm

clinical social worker, spiritual director, author, husband, father, son, runner in Georgia, co-author of When Anxiety Strikes from Kregel Publications.

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