“Making them work for it!”

some thoughts from a parent/therapist on children and chores

Photo by Daniel Watson on Unsplash

As a clinician in private practice who works with a lot of children and adolescents, I am often asked by parents about their child having a chore. Many have come across this chart with its nice checklist of age-appropriate chores for your child. And while you may quibble with a 12-year-old shopping for groceries, there is truth that our goal should be raising functioning, self-sufficient adults. Mastering a chore is a step on the way.

So in my experience with raising children and guiding parents, here are some general guidelines (and explanations below):

1. Choose the right chore for your child.
2. Make sure that there is some quick, positive reinforcement.
3. Choose a small chore that happens daily and a larger weekly chore.
4. With siblings, make sure that chores exist in silos, that one child’s chore is not dependent on another child’s chore.
5. Remember: they are learning.

Choose the right chore for your child.

Imagine this task like a child reaching for something on a shelf. The list of chores does not…