“Let’s see if we can let your trauma be a part of your story, but not your whole story.”

Part of an occasional series about phrases that this therapist finds himself repeating, often.

“selective focus photo of an opened book” by Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash

As a clinician in private practice, one of the phrases that I hear myself saying sometimes is this: “Let’s see if we can let the trauma be a part of your story, but not your whole story.”

This phrase usually comes in the first session with someone who has experienced trauma in their life that may have led to some of the symptoms of an Adjustment Disorder, an Acute Stress Disorder, or Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

Something very difficult has happened in this person’s life, the sort of event that shakes your sense of safety and/or self. With that shaking comes symptoms such as feeling disconnected from others, maybe even from yourself. There may be dramatic physical symptoms that are like a panic attack but worse. You may have strong memories or thoughts about the event that make you feel like it is happening again.

A lot of the symptoms of PTSD are similar to anxiety, but they are to a much greater degree. There can also be a profound hopelessness and persistent…