“I wonder if something important happened around here?”

Part of an occasional series about phrases that this therapist finds himself repeating, often.

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As a clinician in private practice, one of the questions that I frequently hear myself asking is this: “I wonder if something important happened around here?” And while the question sounds as if it is about location, there is more wondering/wandering behind the question. The question could be about space, place, or time. Let me explain.

My definition of trauma is perhaps … expanded. One can certainly see trauma in the horrors of war and abuse. But you can also see trauma in many other events that happen to us that are outside of our control. These events can feel chaotic and invasive. Our sense of self can be unseated. Then, on the other side of the event, life is changed.

Trauma does happen at a particular time and place.

While I am not fond of physical/mental dichotomies, let’s first think about physical trauma. Wars happen in a specific place. Abuse happens in specific circumstances. That location could be as specific as a bedroom in a particular house with lighting, sounds, and smells that bring back the sensory experience of that place. As I have had many war veterans tell me…